The Tales of Dante and Nero
by Sinful Deity
Summary: Oneshots and possibly mini-series revolving around Dante and Nero :3 Dante x Nero Possible porn Nah I'm kidding, lots of porn Ranges from fluff to intense sexy times :D Rated M for reasons
1. 10

Established relationship  
Just a bit porn-y  
"Dante is on a mission a few towns over, and the derps have phones"

* * *

**[On a scale of 1-10 what would you rate my dick?]  
****10:01pm**

Nero sat on the couch, dumbfounded. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth opened slightly. Really, Dante was _retarded_. Nero stared at the message in his phone's inbox for what seemed like an eternity before tossing his phone to the other end of the couch.

**[1 being the worst 10 being the best]  
****10:17pm**

Nero rolled his eyes when he heard that a second message came in. Reluctantly, he leaned over and read the message, groaning when he figured that the older probably wanted an actual answer. He was actually considering replying, but Dante was supposed to be on a mission, and he really didn't feel like feeding the man's already too big ego.

**(How about you focus on the shit you should be doing old man?)  
****10:20pm**

Nero sent the message and was surprised to get Dante's reply less than a minute later.

**[Nothin to do kid]  
****10:20pm**

**[Now tell me]  
****10:22pm**

Nero rolled his eyes, contemplating whether or not he should just set his phone down and go to bed or if he should give his honest opinion. Nero sighed in resignation and began to type out his reply.

**(...Well whaddya mean? How well you use it? Or how well I like the size?)  
****10:28pm**

Nero had the grace to blush as he pressed send.

Really, Dante destroyed his sense of shame.

Nero jumped when his phone vibrated.

**[Both]  
****10:29pm**

Nero thought about his reply. And he hated himself, because he really _thought_ about it. Date was an extremely pleasing lover; he could be amazingly gentle and unbelievably rough. The size of his cock was utter perfection, or at least it was to Nero. He felt so full, it reached so deep. Dante could hit the right spot without even trying. If Nero had to give his honest opinion, it would be 10/10.

Nero began typing.

**(-11 :))  
****10:32pm**

Nero snickered as he imagined the frustration on the older's face.

**[Yah know what. Whatever kid]  
****10:35pm**

Nero barked laughter, flushing down to his neck as he came up with a devious plan. Maybe Nero could mess with him. Just a bit.

**(Ooooh, did the wittle boy get his big ol pride hurt?)  
****10:37pm**

**(Cmooooon old man!)  
****10:37pm**

**(You want my real answer?)  
****10:37pm**

**(Come onnnn, you know you dooo)  
****10:38pm**

Nero came up with two possible reasons as to why the older was suddenly not replying.  
1) His feelings were actually hurt, which, please, was very unlikely. Or 2) He was actually completing his mission.  
Either way, Nero began typing his new onslaught of texts.

Slutty spam is always a good idea.

**(Its perfect. I wanna choke on it.)  
****10:45pm**

**(Fuck, I love when its so deep in my throat)  
****10:45pm**

**(When you lose control and just shove in)  
****10:45pm**

**(Hnn fuck, I want you in me so bad)  
****10:45pm**

**(Why cant you just come home and fuck me with that monster cock?)  
****10:46pm**

**(Mnn, so tight for you)  
****10:46pm**

**(Fuck, Dante its so good when you first put it in)  
****10:46pm**

**(The burn is fucking amazing)  
****10:47pm**

**(Feels so good when you cum inside me. Fuck.)  
****10:47pm**

**(Dante, fuck damn my ass is so empty)  
****10:47pm**

**(Need you to fill me)  
****10:47pm**

**(Mark me)  
****10:47pm**

**('M fucking myself on my fingers, its not enough)  
****10:49pm**

And suddenly, Nero was wondering who he was messing with. The last text was a lie, but the urge to do so was strong. Nero threw his phone down onto the couch and made his way to his and Dante's bedroom. He grabbed a clean set of clothes and shut himself in the bathroom for a cold shower.

x

That night when Nero went to bed, he left his phone on silent. It sat next to him, and he didn't notice the screen glowing during the early hours of the morning.

**[Holy shit]  
****2:37am**

**[You fucking tease]  
****2:37am**

**[Thats a ten right?]  
****2:37am**

**[Nero!]  
****2:37am**

**[Kid!]  
****2:37am**

**[ANSWER ME DAMN IT]  
****2:37am**

**[So help me if youre asleep]  
****2:37am**

**[Im gonna rape you in your sleep kid]  
****2:38am**

**[Youd better hope this mission takes the rest of the night]  
****2:38am**

**[Fuck im so hard right now]  
****2:38am**

x

Dante wasn't home later in the morning when Nero woke up. The younger flushed as he read the messages in his inbox and smiled as he replied,

**(Of course it's a ten.)  
****9:25am**

**(Perverted geezer.)  
****9:27am**


	2. Pink

Established relationship  
Maximum derpage  
"Boxers are fun"

* * *

Dante is sitting up, back leaning on the headboard. His arms are crossed over his bare chest, and his face is the epitome from which all of the world's 'you-have-to-be-fucking-kidding-me' faces originate from.

Nero is curled in on himself, lying on his side and laughing so hard he's reduced to tears.

"It's just, holy fuck, old man!" Nero's sides hurt, and seriously, breathing is getting really fucking hard. That doesn't stop him from howling.

"_Pink__!_" He barks, and it's as if he's seeing Dante's pink boxers for the first time again because suddenly a new round of raucous laughter is tearing through him.

Nero's tears discolor the satin sheets, and Nero takes about four minutes to really settle down.

That is until Dante tries to talk.

"They're just fucking pink!" He snarls, trying to be all menacing or whatever. Nero can see right through it though, because Dante's cheeks are absolutely flushed.

Nero laughs so hard he falls off the bed. He lands with a loud thud and Dante winces.

"_My name is Dante! I'm big and bad!_" He mockingly growls and tries to sit up. He manages to grab a pillow, and for some weird reason, he rips the goddamn thing in half.

"_I fuck bitches and kill demons!_" He then roars, a sad imitation of a lion, and his voice cracks, and now his laugh is just breathy air being pushed out of his abused lungs.

Nero _really can't breathe _so he whispers to himself.

"_**In pink boxers!**__" _He's gasping, and Dante kind of wants to punch him in the face eighty two times, but he kind of wants to laugh with him. Nero's face is flushed, and his smile is stupid and breathtaking and _beautiful. _Tears and blush is a good look on Nero. Take notes, Sephora.

So Dante lets him laugh. Lets him laugh and drinks the sound and expression in greedily. It isn't until Dante realizes, wow they were going to have sex for the first time, that he should do something.

Dante stands and leaves Nero in his drunken state on the ground to go and change his underwear.

"_Wait! Pinky! Come back here so I can suck your dick!_" Nero calls after the older, his face split into the widest grin, his chest heaving.

Really.

The shit he does for this kid.

How he can manage to love the little shit, he doesn't know.

Dante should be given a medal.


	3. Roses

Because I like to think that there are days when Nero feels like he's shitty and Dante likes to be romantic and show Nero that no, _no_, he's not  
shitty. (in really cheesy ways)

Also sorry for my shitty updating skills

Please forgive me xD

Ive got some good(?) stuff lined up, so stay tuned

sorry if this is trash xD

*awkwards away*

x

Nero cocked an eyebrow, tipping his head to the side. He stared for several long moments and let his eyes wander from Dante's full hand to his smiling face. Nero's mouth opened and closed as he sunk deeper into the couch. He squinted his eyes and felt himself go tense.

"...The fuck are those?" He finally asked after a minute of silence and Dante's stupidly happy and expectant face being directed at him. Dante pursed his lips and gently shook the flowers. He shrugged and looked at them and then back at Nero.

"Roses?" He asked more than said and took a step towards the couch. Dante held the roses out so that they were within Nero's arms reach.

The younger didn't move. Instead he twitched and looked at Dante as if he had gone batshit insane. He ran a hand through his hair and scrunched his face up momentarily.

"They're what now?" he asked, unsure of what to say- unsure of what Dante expected of him. He really wished Dante would stop smiling at him with those things in his hand. It made him feel weird.

"Roses. Kids should know their flowers." Dante winked and smiled as Nero's confusion quickly morphed into annoyance.

Dante shook the flowers again and stepped closer to Nero- close enough that the bouquet was mere inches from his face. Nero's eyebrows furrowed as he shied away from the red petals. He glared at the roses like they had personally insulted him.

"_Who the fuck are these for?_" He asked, affronted.

Dante snorted and rolled his eyes. He closed the distance between himself and the couch and dropped down to sit beside Nero. He brushed the younger's bangs out of his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. He shook his head fondly and flicked Nero on the forehead as he pulled away. Nero's growl ended abruptly at Dante's reply.

"Why, _you_, of course." He rolled his eyes as he said it, then grinned.

Nero's eyebrows shot up, as if that was the last thing he ever expected. He pointed at himself and minutely tipped his head back. Dante nodded and took Nero's hand and placed it on the bouquet. He laughed as Nero fumbled with the flowers and hugged them to his chest when he let go.

Nero wasn't sure about what to say as he blushed a fine red. They were dating, yeah, he knew that. They were in love, yeah, he definitely knew that- but _flowers? For him?_ He looked around the room and tried to avoid eye contact with the older hunter. His attention was caught by the bouquet and he looked down at the roses' glossy petals and dark green stems in disbelief. They were absolutely beautiful... Nero felt so unworthy to be holding them in his mismatched hands. Gah, why did Dante even do stupid shit like this?

Fuck. As long as they've been dating, and even before, Dante's always been so _sweet._ Like cavity inducing, tooth rottingly sweet. He goes out of his way to make Nero feel loved and comfortable. Like, Dante bought like _five more pillows _for him for christ's sake, just because he offhandedly mentioned that he really liked pillows this one time over dinner. And there are these days that Dante wakes Nero up with breakfast in bed, and there are times when Dante even lets him win fights. (_Verbal_ fights of course.) There was even this one time when Dante let him have the last slice of pizza. The _last slice. _Oh, and that one time Dante let Nero have the last bite of his strawberry sundae. The _last. Bite. _

Dante's just so fucking perfect and sweet and _weird_ because why in the fuck does he even do the shit he does for Nero? Nero shook his head softly. Dante's fucking insane. He tries to comfort Nero whenever he's being a pouty brat, and he tries to make him feel better even when Nero knows he's being an unreasonable, and sometimes downright _crazy bitch. _Nero's just so difficult sometimes, they both know. He gets mad easily, and he's so snarky, he's fairly positive that he makes up like ninety percent of the world's snark. Like, who in their right mind loves some one so goddamn sarcastic? But shit, Dante's does. Dante just _loves_ him, keeps being so good to him, even when he feels like he really, really, _really _doesn't deserve it.

He shook his head again as he felt his eyes get misty. What did he even do to deserve something so beautiful? _God_, he was being such a pussy. He should at least say thanks, right? Nero opened and closed his mouth to say 'thank you', but nothing came out. Dante gave a tiny smile and gently took Nero's chin in a hand and tilted his head up. Dante pulled Nero in for a kiss. It was sweet, and slow, and it made Nero's heart race and his body burn. Nero gently set the flowers down and laced his fingers through Dante's hair as he felt the latter's thumbs wipe across his cheeks. Nero languidly straddled one of Dante's thighs and laughed against the older's lips as tears began slowly rolling down his cheeks. He kissed Dante's nose and gave a shy smile.

"I love you." Dante whispered as his hands slowly traveled down Nero's sides. He nuzzled at Nero's jaw and nibbled at his throat.

"Y-yeah?" Nero shivered as Dante's hands gripped his waist. Dante pulled Nero close and peppered his face with kisses.

"Mm, yeah." Dante mumbled against Nero's lips and groaned quietly as Nero's nibbled at his bottom lip. Dante pressed their foreheads together and sighed in contentment.

"'m so deep in love with you, there's no way I'll get out." He flashed a cocky grin and laughed as Nero gently tugged at his hair.

"Ugh, you're so fucking lame..." Nero kissed him again and draped his arms across Dante's back. He rested his chin on Dante's shoulder. The older hunter placed a tender kiss on Nero's temple and adjusted his hold on his younger lover, both his arms wrapped around Nero's lower back.

"Whatever, punk bitch. you love me." they both laughed quietly. Nero momentarily dug his nails into Dante's back. He kissed Dante's shoulder and smiled.

"Yeah... yeah, I do." Nero tightened his hold around his lover, his heart fluttering as Dante did the same. "I love you."


	4. Movies

Nero and Dante watching a very sad movie. Nero is crying. Dante is also crying. They're both trying to hide the fact that they're both crying. _Boys._

Tbh, this got a lot sadder than I thought it would. Trigger: death and loss

Also, it's like 2 in the morning so this is probably fucking atrocious, read with caution LOL

x

In the inevitable moment that her heart monitor stopped beeping, Nero felt a single tear roll down his cheek. Thank _fuck _it was on the side opposite of where Dante was sitting next to him; His eyes were so goddamn watery he couldn't even blink, lest he expose his maximum self-described sissy-ness.

Nero quietly cleared his throat as the man on screen, Jackson, tightly hugged his confused daughters. He stared forlornly at his wife, his best friend, his world, his _everything._ The doctor's words boomed through the deafening silence of the room and made him jump. Nero could pinpoint the exact moment that Jackson's already broken heart shattered.

"Time of death: 2:13 PM."

A nurse gave Jackson a sympathetic look as he hung his head, desperately trying to hold himself together. He looked up at his girls and tried to force a smile as he gently nudged them towards the nurse. He quietly informed them that their mother was gone and that he needed to talk to her for a bit. The nurse silently ushered them out to where their aunt was waiting so that their father could have some final words. He looked at his girls and their furrowed eyebrows and his lip trembled and his voice cracked when he spoke.

"Mama's gone now, but it's okay. You can say goodbye after daddy says goodbye. Don't cry girls, it's okay_."_

_Okay? _Nero shook his head softly as his chest clenched. _Fuck._

The doctor soon followed the nurse and children out of the room, telling him to take as much time as he needed. Jackson gave a curt nod and returned his attention to his wife. The door clicked shut, and after a few long moments of silence, the walls came crashing down and his world crumbled.

A raw, broken sob ripped past his lips as the tears he was so desperately trying to hide streamed down his cheeks. Nero shifted and furrowed his eyebrows as a new round of tears welled up in his eyes. _What kind of fucking monster makes this kind of movie?_

"_Cassy… God, Cassy, why?_" He sobbed as he rested his forehead against her unmoving stomach. "I love you, I love you so much, I need you, Cassy. _I need you..." _He wept openly as he clutched at her hand, knowing that she was never coming back but still hoping against hope.

He'd never see her smile again, never hear that beautiful laugh. He'd never her see her hold their girls again, or hear her beautiful voice as she sang lullabies for them. He shook his head and pressed her hand to his forehead.

"_I promised._ _Promised to protect you, promised to save you, but I couldn't do it_. I couldn't do _anything _for you when you needed me the most, and I'm so sorry, baby, _I'm so, so, so sorry._ Please, _please, please, please. Ngh… Cassy, please. Don't leave me baby, please. I'm so scared."_

Nero sniffed quickly and hopefully nonchalantly. He cleared his throat again and quickly rubbed at his eyes. He was _not _going to let Dante see him crying. The senile fuck would never let it go.

Dante on the other hand was so preoccupied with the absolute fuckery unfolding on the screen that he didn't even notice Nero was .01 inches away from fucking sobbing. He used the hand that wasn't resting on Nero's shoulder to dab at the corners of his eyes. Jackson was sobbing into the bed, and when Dante blinked, the fat tears that he was holding in rolled down his cheek. He quickly wiped them away.

Dante never cried, especially when watching 'sad movies', but this was all too real. It hit _way _too close to home. He and Nero obviously weren't in the safest line of work; They dealt with fuckin' _demons_ on a daily basis. There's always the risk that something could go wrong, _so fucking wrong_, so seeing some man lose what's the most important thing in the world to him, not being able to protect her, not being able to save her, watching her die and standing by, helpless.

Neither of them could handle it.

They were building their lives together, and they could already see themselves in that man's place. They could see their family, they could see their marriage; They could see themselves being so happy, but they could see it all being ripped away because of one slip-up.

Dante and Nero could see losing the other way too vividly. They've already thought about it, already know they won't be able to cope without their other half.

Dante shook his head, trying so hard to dispel those thoughts. He laughed shakily as the funeral scene ended and the credits began to roll.

"That... that was, uh." Dante gave a wry laugh and stealthily wiped away the, hopefully, last of his tears. It was just a movie, he shouldn't be crying.

Nero on the other hand had abandoned all thoughts of looking like a chump and turned to Dante with his cheeks wet and eyes red.

"I love you so fucking much, you fucking asshole." Nero all but whined as he wrapped his arms around Dante's back and urgently pressed their lips together. Dante opened his mouth immediately, because if he was being honest, he felt it too. The need, the creeping fear. Wanting to be reminded that his boyfriend's still alive, still with him.

Nero felt like he was being fuckin' stupid, over emotional, it was just a fucking _movie,_ for christ's sake, but it wasn't. It just _wasn't. _And Dante felt the same.

Dante pulled back and pressed their foreheads together, his arms getting tighter where they were circling Nero's waist.

"Love you, too." Dante pressed a kiss against Nero's bitten lips and groaned because why the fuck was he tearing up again? It was totally Nero's fault; The little fuck was getting his tears all over Dante's face.

Dante grabbed a fistful of Nero's locks and pulled the younger back, licking and nibbling at his exposed neck. Dante hated the thoughts of not being able to touch Nero, to feel him, to hear him, to see him. He murmured into Nero's soft skin as he tried to focus on the here and now. He shook his head and said,"I love you so much."

They sat there for a good half hour, bathed in the dim light of the forgotten television. They touched, felt, reminding each other that they were still there. Still alive. Still okay.

Nero pulled away and nibbled at his bottom lip. He really didn't like being reminded that they risked their lives everyday.

"Don't die, okay?" He asked quietly.

Dante pressed a kiss to his nose and chuckled fondly at the way Nero scrunched it up.

"Yeah, I promise." Dante pulled Nero closer so that their chests were pressed together. Nero pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and laid his head on Dante's shoulder.

Dante spoke quietly after a few moments.

"You too. Don't die. I sort of like you." Dante smiled as Nero pinched him.

"Yeah, yeah, old man." Nero mocked. After a beat he sighed. "I won't."

Dante kissed his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"We're only watching comedies from here on out, no more of those stupid fucking tragedy things."

"Yeah, fuck those."


	5. Monopoly

I fucking hate monopoly.

Ps everyones reviews make me doki doki :'D

* * *

"I'm going to kill myself." Dante announced loudly, glaring down at the white letters that seemed to stare back and mock him.

mo·nop·o·ly

məˈnäpəlē/

noun: Monopoly

_trademark_

A board game in which players engage in simulated property and financial dealings using imitation money. Players inevitably turn on one another and an all out blood bath is to occur at the very _least_ once in one sitting. Families are destroyed, all trust is shattered. Parental guidance highly suggested.

His face was drained, and as he frowned his eyes landed on Nero. The younger raised his arms sharply and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Not my fault the banker isn't being fuckin' legit!" Nero whipped his head to the side and glared at Lady, his eyes narrowing. He tilted his head and scowled when she shrugged and shared a smirk with Trish.

"Dante's just mad because he went bankrupt." Trish offered, shrugging and laughing softly. Dante groaned loudly and angrily dragged a hand through his hair. He waved his free hand in the girls' direction.

"You _bitches_ have been taking up _every avenue_, with money that you _should not have." _Dante leaned over and rested his elbows on the table, burying his face in his hands.

"Not my fault your low-income ass can't handle this shit!" Lady snorted, holding her hand out to Nero. She smirked, cocking an eyebrow when Nero gave her a betrayed look that said, _traitor! You fucking traitor, I never said anything! I helped you cheat!_

Nero held his last few bills out, his eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head slowly, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he spoke.

"Lady is a demon." He looked around the four of them, still shaking his head. Dante almost laughed. Would have if he wasn't so pissed.

"Just, just a full fledged demon. A full fledged demon who cheats when playing monopoly." He let his head fall onto the table as he gave a miserable groan.

Dante's voice was muffled and miserable, "This game was made by Satan."

Lady laughed at that. She smiled and poked at Dante's head.

"Come on, poor sport. Your turn to roll." She chimed, laughing as Dante lifted his head and scowled at her.

"Fuck off." He said petulantly.

Nero also lifted his head. He looked down at the board for a long moment before looking up at Trish and Lady. He let the silence linger for a few seconds before taking a corner of the board and flipping it over.

Lady gasped as Trish laughed, the pieces falling and the fake currency fluttering to the ground. Nero couldn't quite describe the satisfaction he received when he heard the little metal pieces hitting the floor.

Dante smiled and held out his fist, Nero quickly bumping it with his own. Dante stood, dusted off his jeans, and offered Nero a hand. Nero stood and smiled at the girls.

"Yeah, so, fuck this game." Dante stated as he chuckled and clapped his hands together. Lady scoffed as Nero nodded his head in agreement.

Nero looked to Dante and smiled.

"Fuck this. We should get ice cream."

Dante smiled and led Nero towards the door.

"Great idea, babe. Best one I've heard all fuckin' day."

And with that, they were gone.

The two girls sat in silence for a few long moments before bursting with laughter.

"I told you those idiots couldn't handle more than thirty minutes of something frustrating." Lady commented as she held out her hand. Trish sighed, a small smile on her face. She placed a twenty in Lady's outstretched hand and rolled her eyes.

"_Boys_."

* * *

Literally what I want to do every time I play this game. Just flip the board and leave. LOL.


	6. Blankets

I like to think that Nero is the blanket stealer in their relationship LOL

* * *

"Yo, _Nero_. Fuck." Dante barked from his side of the bed, shaking and glaring up at the ceiling.

He woke up at ass o'clock in the morning, surely because his body was trying to avoid hypothermia or some shit. He was fairly positive that his dick would have frozen and fallen off had he continued to sleep.

"_Nero_." Dante groaned as he sat up. He tugged at the blankets cocooned around his young lover and glared as Nero groaned and pulled back.

"Mmn, _fuck off_..." Nero mumbled and shifted so that he was face down, his head shoved into a pillow.

Dante smiled fondly, rolling his eyes and wrapping his arms around Nero. Dante pressed his chest against his lover's back and nuzzled at his neck. He placed a light kiss on the back of Nero's neck and whispered, "Gimme some of the blanket, you shit."

Nero giggled quietly, still mostly asleep. He didn't move. Dante turned Nero over and managed to pry the blanket off of him. He made an opening and slipped under. Nero opened his eyes slowly, yawning quietly. He squinted as Dante pulled him close so that their chests were flush together.

Nero placed a hand on Dante's chest and pushed lightly, quietly whining as Dante chuckled and tightened his grip.

"Mm, you're too warm, old man." Nero murmured. Despite his complaint, he nuzzled closer to Dante, his nose brushing the older's collarbone.

Dante pressed a kiss to the top of Nero's head and shifted, getting comfortable. "Think I care, you little fuck?"

Nero smiled and shook his head. He said 'no' quietly, making Dante chuckle quietly.

"Love you, babe." Dante said quietly as he nuzzled his nose into Nero's white locks. He could feel Nero's smile against his chest.

"Love you, too."

Dante broke the silence after for a few moments.

"You know, if you wanted to cuddle, you coulda just done it." Dante said quietly, smiling as Nero stilled for a moment. "Didn't have to steal the blanket."

"_Shut the fuck up_."

* * *

Pretending to be asleep, stealing blankets, inducing hypothermia

Introducing: Master Super Ultra Stealth Cuddler Nero B)


	7. Pick Up Lines

12am, two days of no sleep, this might be trash, but worth. Sorry that my updating skills are so shit LOL. Hope you like this monstrocity.

* * *

Nero hummed along with the music pouring out of his headphones as he skimmed through one of Dante's magazines. He was waiting for Dante to finish getting ready so they could go out.

The old man was making a big deal out of their anniversary, _again_, and made a reservation for them at some fancy schmancy restaurant a town over. He had gotten Nero flowers that morning and had made him breakfast in bed. There was even a little tone deaf singing thrown in there. Leave it to Dante to be the world's biggest sap.

Nero shook his head fondly as he heard the bathroom door upstairs open, and then Dante cursing loudly as he dropped something.

Dante came trotting down the stairs not a minute later, clad in black slacks and a maroon button down that was rolled up at the sleeves. He looked at Nero and waggled his eyebrows.

Dante slowly spun in a circle and smiled. "You like?"

Nero grinned as he felt his heart racing. Five years later and the old man's still giving him butterflies.

"I like. A lot." Nero smirked and cocked an eyebrow as Dante gave him a sly grin.

Nero stood, tossed the magazine aside, and brushed off his own his slacks. He pulled at the hem of his navy dress shirt and blushed as Dante gave him an appreciative once over. Being dressed so nicely felt odd, but the way Dante looked at him made it worth it. Like he was a treasure. Like he was perfect.

Nero made his way over to the coat rack near the door and grabbed the black pea coat Dante had given him the year before. Curse Dante for spoiling him so much. Nero smiled as he slipped it on.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

Dante picked his keys up off the desk and nodded. Nero held his hand out for Dante to grab as he used his free one to reach for the doorknob.

"Hey, babe?" Dante asked as he laced his fingers with Nero's. Nero stopped and turned towards him.

"Yeah?"

Dante leaned over minutely and momentarily scrunched his face up."Did you sit in sugar?"

"No." Nero turned and tried to look. "_What?_ No? Why-"

"'Cause you've got a sweet ass."

It took Nero a few seconds to process what Dante had said, but when he did, he threw a weak glare his way. He smiled after a few moments and shook his head. Dante's smile was infectious.

"Fuck off, yeah?" He lightly swatted at Dante's shoulder as the older man laughed.

Dante shrugged and smiled. He used his free hand to turn Nero a little. He pursed his lips for a second and cocked an eyebrow. "You've seriously got something on your ass though."

Nero furrowed his eyebrows and twisted his body so that he could see it. There was nothing on him.

"_What?_ What the fuck is it?"

"My eyes."

"..."

Nero stood there for a few seconds as he stared at Dante. Was this guy actually retarded? Dante's smile widened as he poked Nero's tummy.

Yes. Yes, he's actually retarded. Nero flushed red as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just." He shook his head. What do you even say to that? Nero smiled as he pushed the door open and pulled Dante out with him. "Shut the hell up, okay?"

Dante locked the shop behind them and lead Nero over to his bike. Nero climbed on after Dante and hugged his waist as Dante started her up. Dante kicked the kickstand up and paused as he looked down at one of Nero's forearm.

"Holy shit, kid." Dante grabbed Nero's arm and quickly glanced back at the younger man. His eyebrows were furrowed and he seemed worried.

"_What?_" Nero asked as his own eyebrows furrowed. What happened?

"Did it hurt?"

"_What? What the fuck?_" Nero panicked slightly as he pulled his arm away from Dante and examined it. There was nothing wrong with him.

"Did _what_ hurt? What the fuck are you seeing that I'm not?" Nero shook his head and narrowed his eyes when he noticed Dante smirking.

"When you fell from heaven? Did it hurt?"

"..._Oh my fucking god_." Nero rubbed a hand over his face as he briefly contemplated homicide. "You did not just fucking say that."

Dante laughed loudly as Nero pinched him and growled. Nero resumed hugging Dante's waist as he let his forehead fall against Dante's back.

"I'm stuck between being flattered and actually killing you right now."

Dante laughed and reached back to ruffle Nero's hair.

"I just wanted to remind you that you're hot, just in case you forgot." Dante smiled as Nero scoffed against his back.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Let's get going. You said you were hungry, and I'm sick of you eating pizza in our bed."

There was a moment's pause before Dante spoke.

"Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed."

Nero pressed his head into Dante's back and groaned loudly. "Holy _shit_. Shut the fuck up."

Dante laughed again and started the bike.

"Love you, baby."

Nero rolled his eyes, sighed, and hugged Dante just a bit tighter. There was a small smile on his lips when he spoke.

"I love you too, you dipshit. Now, _drive_."

* * *

And the rest of the night was full of fluff and kisses and all those great things c:


	8. 50 Ways

50 ways to say 'i love you'  
its been like nine years since i posted something lol i apologize  
this idea just popped into my head  
so i started writing and this happened haha  
enjoy :D

x

1 "You can't just leave all of your fucking clothes on the bathroom floor and just assume that I'm going to wash them."  
"But you did, didn't you?'"  
"_I did_."

2 "You can have the last slice of pizza."

3 "Are you cold?"  
"A lil."  
"Here. Take my coat."  
"No."  
"_Take it."  
_"_No_."  
"_Why?_"  
"Then _you're _going to be cold. _Idiot_."

4 "Hey, _buddy_. How about you back the fuck up before I rip you a new one?"  
"_What?_ You his _man_ or something?"  
"_You're goddamned right I am_."

5 "...Are you wearing my shirt?"  
"I might be."  
"...Looks good."  
"...You okay?"  
"...I will be. Gonna use the bathroom real quick."  
"...?"

6 "Lady pisses me off. She gets way too close to you."

7 "Come on, babe. Don't be mad."  
"Fuck you. My hair is manly as hell."  
"I didn't say it wasn't!"  
"You called it _cut__e!"_

8 "_Fuck._ I didn't think it was possible for you to get any prettier, but here you are. _Damn_."

9 "_Shiiiiit_. Your ass looks _amazing_ in those jeans."

10 "You made me a _mix tape?_ _Seriously?_ I'm stuck between being happy and offended."

11 "Hey, I cleaned Blue Rose and Red Queen for you."

12 "A strawberry sundae? You're too good to me."

13 "I'll have you know that the candles you lit around the tub and the flower petals on the floor are a _huge_ fucking fire hazard."

14 "What the fuck? _Did you wash the dishes?_ Miracles _do_ happen."

15 "I swear to god, this pasta is the best fucking thing I've ever eaten in my life. You sure you didn't pick this up from somewhere? _It's amazing_."

16 "I'm sorry."

17 "Dante. This pizza. It's shaped like a heart?"  
"Yeah. Nero made it. Isn't that cute?"  
"..."

18 "Wise men say, only fools rush in~ But I can't help, falling in love with you~"  
"_Christ_. You are so bad at singing."

19 "Did you seriously just blow a kiss at me?"

20 "Let me get the door for you, my princess."  
"...Thanks."

21 "You've been smiling all day."  
"That's cause I've been with you, dummy."

22 "Fuck. I'm gonna miss you."  
"The mission's only gonna take a day or two. Three _tops_."  
"That's three days without waking up next to you though."

23 "I'm so lucky to have met you."

24 _"Your message will be recorded after the beep."  
__beep  
_"Yeah, so. I tried to do the dishes. The kitchen is absolutely covered in suds. I honestly have no idea how. I'm almost sorry."

25 "Breakfast in bed? _Damn_, I'm a lucky man."

26 "Dance with me?"  
"You know I can't dance for shit."  
"That's fine. Come on."  
"...Don't get mad if I step on your feet."

27 "Happy anniversary."  
"You remembered?"  
"Of course."

28 "Did… Did you just kiss my forehead?"  
"I did."

29 "Poetry? _Really?_"  
"Go ahead. Read it."

"Looking a little red there."  
"_Shut the fuck up_."

30 "You know, you're my phone's screensaver."

31 "Thank you for being you."

32 "You're cleaning? Can I help?"  
"Thanks for asking, but I'd really rather not have you fucking things up."  
"Haha, right."

33 "Thanks for believing in me."

34 "Oh my god, _let_. _Go_."  
"Nope. You need some extra lovin' today."  
"You've been hugging me for the past _10 minutes_. I think that's enough 'extra loving' for the next _year_."

35 "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

36 "Be careful, okay?"

37 "Where's my goodnight kiss?"  
"...Here. _Idiot._"  
"Haha. Goodnight, babe."

38 "Rings?"  
"Yeah. You're mine for the rest of your life, and I'm yours. I want people to know that."  
"Okay."

39 "I almost hate how pretty you are. People are hitting on you_ all the fucking time."_

40 "Don't you hate this radio station?"  
"Yeah, but you like it, right?"

41 _ "Your message will be recorded after the beep."  
__beep  
_"Hey. Uh. Get this. I uh, tried to do some laundry and, haha. Funny thing, really. Uh… … ."

42 "We're not naming our cat 'Mitsy'."  
"Why? _C'moooon_."  
"No way in hell."

"_Fuck_, don't make that face."

"_Fine_. Name him whatever you want. He's gonna be bullied by the alley cats. _Mitsy_… _Pfft_."

43 "_If you don't stop doing such dangerous, stupid things, I'm going to kick your fucking ass."_

44 "We should have a summer wedding."  
"Really? I was thinking spring."

45 "You're just the cutest fucking button, you know that?"  
"Just how drunk _are you?"_

46 "You want to name our puppy?"  
"_Yesssss_. Your new name is 'Cerberus'."  
"_What?_ You can't name her Cerberus. If you haven't noticed, she has princess parts."  
"Shut up, '_Mitsy'_. You have no say."  
"..."

47 **((Can you do me a solid and come home already?))  
****[[you and i both know im supposed to be here for like a week]]  
****((Super cool, but can you come home anyways?))  
****[[you do realise there are like 20 blitz in this town ?]]  
****((You do realise you suck))  
****[[ill call you later tonight ok?]]  
****((Lame.))  
****[[deal with it]]  
****((I miss you.))  
****[[i miss you too.]]**

48 "...Are you okay?"  
"Yeah. Fine."

"..."  
"_Oh my god_."

"You're _jealous_."  
"Pfft. _Of what?_"  
"The cat! You're jealous and butthurt because of our cat!"  
"_What the fuck? _No I'm not."  
"_You so are!_"  
"... _Well_, I wouldn't be if that little _fucker_ hadn't taken _my_ side of the bed!"  
"Dante, he's a _cat_. You could have _moved_ him."  
"But you both looked so comfortable."  
"Hahahahaha. You are such an idiot!"  
"_Can it, bitch_."

49 "I didn't peg you for the type of guy who bought flowers for their lovers."  
"I'm not."  
"_Ohoho._ I feel so special."  
_"You are."_

50 "I love you."  
"I love you."

x

,':D i hope you liked it! feel free to leave a review and favorite  
have a great day :D


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